Sad Days of Summer

I'm very much a homebody. I love being at home. When I thought I was going to go back to school this week to start setting up my classroom I got nervous. Butterflies. Nausea. Sweaty. Figured it was because I was going back to see people I hadn't seen in a month.

Today, I finally left home to go to the grocery store. I got nervous. Butterflies. Nausea. Guess it's not just school. It's me.

Me

Before I met the engineer, I had never laughed so hard that I snorted.

Ketchup Summer

I just got some great news. They're going to open up my hall of the school, which means I can get in there and slowly start setting up my room. Which means, I can get all that stuff out of my guest room and finally clean it. AND, I can get into the boxes of my books and finish sorting them by genre and labeling by reading level. I can't describe the peace I get when everything is sorted and labeled. I feel so relaxed!

Post Grad

Sometimes I get these feelings like I'm not living up to what I should be. I graduated from college 2 years ago. I teach school; about to start my 3rd year. I've always wanted to be a teacher. Love my principal. Love my coworkers. Love my kids. Something's not right.

I love math. I'm good at it. Standardized tests would make me giddy. Knowing there's only 1 right answer. The perfect evenness of it. I miss those.

I read like it's going out of style. Everyday. All the time. I have to physically tear myself away when the engineer is home so I can spend time with him. Torn between 2 loves.

I used to stay up till the wee hours of morning working on computer programs. Creating way more than was necessary for an A. Just for the thrill of it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I should be. Should I have been a mathematician? An accountant? Librarian? Writer? Programmer? I wish I could go back to my freshman year of college and take all those classes again and really listen to my gut this time. Cause right now? I don't have a clue.

Itch to Pitch + Ketchup Week

I'm feeling very overwhelmed in my apartment these days. I feel like I have too much junk floating around and I'm just dying to get rid of things. This would, ideally, be the time to take care of it, but I'm lost and don't know where to start.

Okay, okay. Start at the beginning, right? The room bothering me the most is the guest room / office. It's full of my school things, so I can't get in there until school starts again in the fall (and I can unload all of it back into my classroom!). It's the elephant in the room. It's all I can think about it. I started on some half-finished knitting projects in the mean time. I also need to do some sewing, take some clothes to good will, clean out the closets. I also need a bit of motivation. I firecracker in the rear, so to speak. Any ideas? Ideally something less painful?

The Misadventures of A Baker

Today, I tried to make pigs in a blanket. Yummy! The dough is outstanding. I alternated between putting in white and whole wheat, so I don't know the exact proportions, but it would make excellent rolls. Unfortunately, I guess I let the dough rise too much because they came out like this:


I promise, there are half hot dogs in there!! I think I'd like to try pizza pockets or brown bag burritos next. My poor freezer is getting too full. I think I'll have to start eating all these things I'm freezing!

Smell

Something is going on here. I've been overwhelmed by certain smells lately. The other day, my arm smelled like baby. Yummmm. I could have smelled it all day. Last night in bed, something smelled super sweet. I didn't move for ages because I wanted to take it in as long as I could. Eventually, it hit me - it smelled like the horse feed at the farm my dad used to work at.

Here's the kicker, though - something on my back porch smells like high school. I don't know if it's the bee balm plant or something nearby, but it is especially strong while my neighbor's air conditioner is on. I could sit out there all day and revel in the feelings of being young. It reminds me of hanging out with my friends, sneaking off with a boy, wearing our pajamas downstairs and thinking we were scandalous. The innocence and freedom of that time is heart-warming. I don't sit regretting anything or even wishing I were back in high school, just relishing the memories and thinking about where I've come since then. In some ways, that's the best feeling of all.